Stage 5 starts at 10am the next day so I had set my alarm for 8. Others apparently didn’t get the memo and by 7 there is no more chance of sleep as torches and voices are up. There is just 15km ahead of us today. I only have a 450 calorie breakfast today and I am so grateful to not have to get an 800 one down again. I try to gather my kit, forgetting that I had moved my socks to a different radiator, only remembering after panicked unpacking my night bag twice and my neighbours once.
I don’t want to race but equally I want the stage over as quick as possible. JJ is 27 minutes in front of me in 3rd which I contend is unassailable in 15km. The course goes back out over last nights finishing lake, over a steep hill, then downhill to the finish in the town of Jokkmokk. We set off and once again my body protests, heels especially but I know in will pass in a few km. There are different people in front of me today. Daryl has gone without snowshoes just ahead of me and is pushing. Up front James has decided to have a go with Alex and George. Just in front of Daryl is JJ. We crest the steep but relatively short hill and bound off downhill. The snow is soft and I’m even more impressed at Daryl’s pace. At the bottom of the hill there is a commotion. The track we are on crosses another. Red and white tape goes left but there is a red cross straight ahead. It would seem the front 4 have gone straight on but Daryl is convinced it is left so he called out to JJ. I have 100m to the junction to quickly load the route onto my watch. It confirms it is indeed left so I follow Daryl with JJ retracing his steps now behind me. By the time we reach the checkpoint a few k up the track JJ has caught me. I fully expect him to pass me but he looks wiped “this is such great battle,” he says “thanks!” He is clearly relishing the competition in a way that I hadn’t. There’s 7km to go, screw it I think, lets have a battle and I give in to the the little competition monster I have been silencing in my head for the last 3 days and open up my pace. I now have ITB syndrome in my untaped left leg but its fine, there’s only 5km to go, just one Park Run. The Park Run has become my standard measure of distance in running. 25km training run to do, no problem, its only 5 Park Run’s, my kids can do a Park Run! The competition monster drives me on, when I’m about to walk he gives me a little kick and I push instead. I have opened a huge gap to JJ. Quite unrealistically I wonder if I could open a 27 minute gap?
If Alex, George and James have cut the course. That puts Daryl first and me 2 second for the stage. I push on hard but there is no catching Daryl. As the course nears the finish we start running on a road. I quickly take off my snowshoes and set off, it feels like flying, after 230km the feeling of trainers on a hard surface is sheer joy. I hear some music in the distance and turn on to the red carpet to cheers and claps. FINALLY an actual finish line, THE finish line. I had completed the Ice Ultra 2024 and as Kris hung a medal round my neck and handed me a beer I received a final finish line hug from Jenny. 230km in some of the most gruelling conditions was over. I was drenched in sweat, my waterproof a layer too much for the days conditions and pace. Still being mindful of the cold I quickly changed into dry and warm kit before tucking into a finish line burger. JJ still wasn’t across the line. Maybe 27 minutes was possible?
I’m not sure how long it was before JJ arrived. It definitely wasn’t 27 minutes. He arrived sometime around my second burger. The final times for the the race didn’t seem to be very accurate what with the front 3 taking a 5km shortcut and a few trackers not working. There didn’t really seem to be much of a desire on anyones part to do anything about it either and nor should there. That’s not what these ‘races’ are about. I’m not trying to detract from the winner Alex, the guy is a machine but this isn’t the olympics where when you win you can claim to be the fastest in the world. Here your claim is to be the fastest amongst some runners. Perhaps in another year when the worlds top trail runners enter, maybe I come 20th, or another year maybe I win. Does that make any difference to what I went through along the way? The intrinsic motivation to do the best you can pushes you on regardless and rewards you without the vagaries of outside influence. Competition is extrinsic, you have no control over it and for me it certainly detracted at times from my enjoyment of the race. Had I have been sitting in 20th I think I would have allowed more time to take in where I was, maybe take one or two more photos, and I still think I would have come in around the same time.
That’s what I will take home from the Ice Ultra, to run your own race. To push on as hard as you can irrespective of those around you, to use intrinsic motivations and try and block out external ones, especially if they are not helpful. To be gritty, resilient, tough and determined on the days when you don’t feel like moving the needle and to keep forging ahead when you could get away with just cruising. Sometimes we find ourselves looking around at friends, co-workers, family, online influencers and comparing our own pace in life. Sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down but competing serves only to spoil the view. Run your own race.
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